Ask Matt: Volume IV

Thanks for reading, it’s been fun.

What’s more important in the short term, Clout or Sauce?

Kirk Whalen: Definitely clout.

*10 seconds of silence*

Kirk: Wait no, it’s actually gotta be sauce.

What is Ask Matt?

It’s a mostly-satirical (never funny), advice column published on the Prep News Online.

What about the previously mentioned talking horse

Here’s what I had to say, and I’ll I stand by it: While I am a fiscal conservative, I think a totally free market is dangerous. When you give the keys to an economy solely to one entity, whether private, (see Industrial Britain) or governmental (see the Soviet Union), workers tend to be left powerless. Also, horses are pretty neat, they’re like pet cars.

What chips?

I’m a pretty big Doritos guy, but I could go for some kettle chips, Cheetos, barbeque chips, maybe even some Ruffles.

Is it okay to poop outside in a public setting?

How public we talkin’?

Do you have any cool nicknames? If so, what are the nicknames and who gave them to you?

Mr. Dugan calls me “a disappointment.”

What is the meaning of life?

Flik mac-and-cheese.

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