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Ask Matt: Volume II

Ask MattHere we are: the sequel to Ask Matt. As film franchises like The Sandlot and Jurassic Park have proven, the second is always just as good as the first. Well, maybe not.

Have you ever ridden a horse? If so, what was the horse’s name? Was he a lazy horse? What color was said horse? Brown? White? Did said horse speak at all? If so, what did this speaking horse say? Did he inform you about the government interfering in our economy, violating what Capitalism stands for? Do you believe a totally free market could totally work?

While I am a fiscal conservative, I think a totally free market is dangerous. When you give the keys to an economy solely to one entity, whether private, (see Industrial Britain) or governmental (see the Soviet Union), workers tend to be left powerless. Also, horses are pretty neat, they’re like pet cars.

How is it fair for them to still give me jugs for something I said if I’m 18.

What did you say?

If I get really behind on my homework, what is a good way to catch up?

Probably just to transfer.

Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?

Yes.

Is Facebook messenger an adequate way to express my music taste to a disc jockey?

This really depends on a couple of factors. If he’s wearing glasses that light up, ignoring face-to-face requests and playing really bad music, it’s a yes from me.

What game do you want “unbanned” from the school Wi-Fi?

I don’t play a lot of games. Last semester, I was into “Gangstar Vegas,” but it glitched out and I lost all of my turfs. I haven’t really had the heart to touch my VPN since then.

What is the situation with the parking lots being so crazy?

You’re probably just a bad driver.

 

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