Which type of water bottle are you?

Whether in the form of Camelbaks, Blender Bottles or gallon jugs, the Rockhurst community uses many water bottles. However, there is an underlying satirical stigma attached to each one and the people that drink out of them. The following questions may help you decide which water bottle is right for you.

  1. Are you an athlete?
    1. A. Football, basketball, and track baby.
    2. Of course I am.
    3. Kind of
    4. No
  2. What sport do you play?
    1. All of them
    2. I played B team freshman football and now I “workout”
    3. Tennis/Cross Country
    4. I’m an AP athlete
  3. What kind of student are you?
    1. Alright
    2. What are grades?
    3. Pretty Good
    4. Amazing of course
  4. What is your ideal Friday night?
    1. Partying
    2. Partying harder
    3. Studying
    4. Hanging with my good friends

If you answered mostly 1, then you probably drink out of a blender bottle. You are probably an underclassman with 3 different types of protein powder in your backpack right now. You can easily rattle off the difference between creatine, C4 and post-workout, but you take all three at the same time. Maturity grows with age, however, and most upperclassmen genuinely workout and use the shaker balls to mix powder into their drinks. However, one can still see the shadow of his freshman self flexing in front of the mirror after going to the gym for a week.

If you answered mostly 2,  you probably drink out of a gallon jug. You have transcended to god-like status. There is no one cooler and bigger than you, and everyone knows it. You find it a personal challenge to see how clear your urine can be and you probably take a knee every time you take a swig. You are a living, walking meme. Unless you are a professional bodybuilder, trying to be cool, or trying to die of hyponatremia (overhydration), don’t use one of these.

If you answered mostly 3,  Gatorade bottles and Camelbaks are for you. You are probably proud of yourself for staying hydrated, and you get a thrill from having clear pee (but then again, who doesn’t). Someone in your class probably asks for a quick drink once a day, and it is always a gamble whether they will waterfall it, squirt it, or put their lips on the mouthpiece. Feel proud for filling up your water bottle at lunch, even if the water flows incredibly slow.

If you answered mostly 4, you probably use a coffee thermos and are probably asleep right now. Staying up until 3 A.M. is a regular occurrence for you, and your sleep schedule is so out of whack that you are basically nocturnal. You’ve learned to love black coffee, but you probably won’t touch Flik coffee and will instead opt for your own at home. All that lost sleep comes with a reward though, and you probably get pretty good grades and work hard. Procrastination can be overcome though.


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